Fear of Commitment

Note to self: fear of commitment and mother loss are connected. Check out an excerpt from Buxbaums' riveting novel. Anyone read it?

Blue Dress, Blue Napkin

Remembering random details mid-conversation with friends and relatives may be typical for most brides. Fervently nodding in conversational agreement over microcosmic points of talk that spark monumental inspiration for decorating ideas. Suddenly a friend talking about her new blue dress triggers an idea for blue napkins to be neatly folded underneath the complimentary fusia pink M&M favors.

Taking these random details and thoughts to a "motherly" level can be hard -- to put it mildly. Although I have often heard brides complain of their mother's excessive sharing of wedding preferences in a border-line manipulative way, at least those tastes, opinions and preferences are known.

On and on your friend's "blue dress" conversation continues, while all you can wonder is what color napkins your mom would want? What kind of a dress would she want you to wear?

Would she think my 20s hairdo is hideous? And who will entertain our great aunt and uncle, if not her. Am I responsible to introduce old relatives to the groom's side of the family even though the last time I saw them I was in diapers?

Slowly you feel your "I'm listening to your blue dress story but thinking of something wedding related" nod give way to an unpolished glisten of tears accumulating at the corner of your eye. Taking charge of your tear ducts you hurry a whitty comment that makes both of you laugh. You laugh and laugh till the topic changes from blue to the weather. Your thoughts craving one thing only, a journal.

Photo credit: Kate Nash by Paul Ferrell

Her Dress, My Dress

(Image source: Modern Bride/ Perfect Bound)

This Kaleidoscopic picture reflects the momentum of legacy. The legacy of commitment from your mother's love that nurtured your ability to extend it as a radiant bride.