Comfort Blanket Down the Aisle

Imagine a noble sparkly-eyed bride, walking down the isle, clinging to a thin cotten childhood comfort blanket patterned with faded cartoon characters. To the bride, this item symbolizes an age of innocence, a feeling of safety, a sense of being surrounded by unconditional love. Down the isle she walks, chiffon dress trailing behind, as she clings to that blanket of hope.

Sure, the moment gets lost by the prospect of gazing into the eyes of the man you love. But still, in the back of one's mind there's a rooted understanding that this wedding is missing an integral figure. Perhaps walking down the isle with a cotton blanket may seem a little out of character, but there are other items brides have used to encapture, and honor the one who bore them life. Tracy Masington of the site Fresh Bride proposes the following:

Have your florist provide you with a special flower that can be easily slipped into your bouquet. After your arrival at the altar and before anything else happens, a previously designated relative brings your groom this special flower. He then slides it into the center of your bouquet, and the officiant says: On this day, we honor the memory of the bride's beloved mother by adding a specially chosen flower to the bride's bouquet.

How Others Commemorated: Part II

Jane and Tess.

If you haven't seen the movie 27 Dresses, I'd highly recommend it. Besides presenting an interesting social commentary on weddings, it also provides insight on the relationship of two sisters in light of a wedding and the loss of their mother.

Jane, the responsible older sister withholds her dismay when her dad presents Tess with their mother's wedding dress. Tess, portrayed as a wedding diva, cuts up the entire dress to shreds to use a strip of it in her own fashionable gown.

Here's the warning from the classic sisterly blowup scene where Jane tells Tess: "Today you're just the bXtch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress." Might be a good idea to ask siblings before tearing such a treasure apart.

But the scene does present an option for commemoration...using elements from your mother's wedding dress in your own, or wearing her dress entirely.

How to Commemorate - I

I'm on a mission to find examples of ways women commemorate their mother's presence at their wedding. Here's a very bold bride who talked about how she felt her mother's presence during the ceremony. Note her disclaimer at the end.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9vYXiHsNlTI&feature=related

A Bridal Space

Most living rooms have a lamp, a couch, a table. I believe emotional space is comprised of the very same elements. As a former motherless bride, I welcome you to share this "space" that will shed light to the end of the wedding tunnel, even in the midst of missing her. My hope is it would be a space where you can kick off your wedding planning shoes, stop and reflect on what it means to enter into this phase without her. May you feel emotionally "fed" in the knowledge that yes, you're not crazy. And your legitimate rollercoaster memories and feelings are partially shared by other brides.

Your comments, stories, questions and silence are welcomed...